So we’re load testing the application, and the boss is in NY with the clients and is obviously bored. He’s been optimizing some of the sql code, and he sends us a few optimized stored procs and says ‘OKAY – I am a legend – 4.17 minutes to sub one second – HEEELLOOOOOOOO’.

So we deploy the code and i run the report. What do i get? No rows returned. Uhuh. Much faster. šŸ™‚

Another quote from an email from the boss: ‘Again the embedded payment table and the convert used on an indexed date – simple but effective – 27 seconds to 1. Whos your daddy.’

He was also awake at 5AM EST. I’m worried. The clients are obviously sharing their crack/smack/cocaine with him.

“Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?” – Clifford Stoll


One Response to “SQL”

  1. I am now officially a fan of your blog šŸ™‚

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