So we’re load testing the application, and the boss is in NY with the clients and is obviously bored. He’s been optimizing some of the sql code, and he sends us a few optimized stored procs and says ‘OKAY – I am a legend – 4.17 minutes to sub one second – HEEELLOOOOOOOO’.
So we deploy the code and i run the report. What do i get? No rows returned. Uhuh. Much faster.🙂
Another quote from an email from the boss: ‘Again the embedded payment table and the convert used on an indexed date – simple but effective – 27 seconds to 1. Whos your daddy.’
He was also awake at 5AM EST. I’m worried. The clients are obviously sharing their crack/smack/cocaine with him.
“Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?” – Clifford Stoll