The news today has left me gaping. Only in South Africa can we have all of these news stories in the paper on the same day:
1. Police re-arrest 157 of the 65,837 prisoners who were released earlier this year. Not paroled… released, as in remission of sentence to aleviate overcrowding, including a number of people who were considered to not have been rehabilitated to a satisfactory extent. And they consider the re-arrest rate of less than one percent to be an “extraordinary effort”. That’s just the number re-arrested, not the number who have committed crimes since being released, i’ll bet. I wouldn’t call sitting on your ass failing to arrest people an extraordinary effort.
2. Typhoid breaks out in SA due to faeces-infected drinking water. Typhoid??? This guy who keeps coming into zenstar’s dad’s shop once stated that he didn’t believe we should have to pay for clean water because water comes from the sky, so it’s free. Well, guess what, typhoid is also apparently free. So is cholera, bilharzia, and a host of other diseases related to unclean water. have fun.
3. 40 bodies discovered decaying in a mortuary that had its power cut due to being R26,ooo in arrears on their electricity bill. The daughter of the late mortician (he died in february) first claimed that she didn’t know the bodies were there, despite the fact that she had been living in the building. As this was obvious rubbish, she later admitted that she had actually known, just not done anything about it. Since Februaury. One of the bodies has been there for 14 years without burial. The stench of decay after the cold room ceased being cold was what finally alerted residents to the fact that something odd was going on.
4. King Goodwill Zwelatini urges business to help men get their viginity tested. he has not disclosed how. Of course not!!! it’s not medically possible. I can’t wait to see how he plans to do it, though. Probably involves elves or goblins or something.
5. And on a related note, people are up in arms that the updated Children’s Bill of Rights has outlawed the practice of virginity testing on young girls. many young girls have come forward saying that although their parents made them get tested, they are glad they did because now they know they don’t have AIDS. What??? First of all, how can you not know if you’re a virgin or not? and second, sex is not the only way you get HIV/AIDS, dumbasses. If you want to know if you have HIV, get an HIV test. asshats. Also, another of their stunning debate tactics is that it’s a cultural thing, and no one is speaking out against Divali, which is also cultural. A little background is that Divali is the indian festival where participants enter a trance and then allow themselves to be pierced. Exactly what do the practices of consenting adults have to do with a bill aimed at children? If you want to make a comparison, try circumcision. Again, asshats.