Midweek Cuckoo: Seasonal Nut

In the spirit of silly season, i’m happy to report this particular brand of insanity as inspiration to christmas lovers everywhere. Briton Andy Park has been celebrating christmas every day for the last 12 years. The whole 9 yards. With turkey, stuffing, roast potatoes, crackers, presents, the whole shebang. He even watches the Queen’s christmas speech over and over again.

Think about it, a turkey a day for 12 years. Turkeys in the UK are not the same size as turkeys here. We’ve all seen the Mr Bean episode – they’re the size of an ostrich!

I think the little nudge that pushes him over the edge to certifiable (worse even that watching the queen give the same speech every day), is the obsession with creating a No 1 christmas radio hit. Ugh. Christmas songs.



Put on your tinfoil beanies, ladies and gents, it’s time for an update from the scientology front. Tom Cruise has purchased a sonograph for the express purpose of keeping track of his child’s progress. The American College of Radiology is having ten fits about it, for obvious reasons. Ultrasound scans are for diagnosis purposes only, the machine is meant to be run by a qualified doctor and should not be used continuously over a long period as it may prove harmful to a young foetus. Just because you can afford a piece of medical equipment does not mean you are qualified to use it! What next? Purchase an MRI to find your keys? Get an X-Ray machine so you can take cool pictures of the dildo stuck up your ass?

Then again, this is Tom Cruise and he has special scientology powers that allow him to give medical advice about what treatment you should be taking for depression, so he must be a doctor!

Then again, doesn’t scientology give him x-ray vision anyway? What does he need the sonograph for?


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