Happy New Year!

Quick post to wish all and sundry a Happy New Gregorian Calendar Year. I had a good weekend which involved making sushi for family members and getting to the final table in schpat’s first Poker Invitational. Fun.

I was thinking this weekend that Christianity is really the only religion that has it’s own special anti-christianity i.e. satanism. Satanism as a religion exists only because christianity and the bible exist – without the existence of god and the angels, who the hell is lucifer anyway? More religions need this sort of thing, so this is what i propose:

Xenuism.

Come on, you know it’s the next big thing. Atheism and rationalism are not the anti-scientology, Xenuism is. I’m working on a list of ways to tell if you’re a Xenuist. Here’s the first few:

You know you’re a Follower of Xenu if:
3) You think medicine is good and that doctors know more about how to treat sick people than religious leaders do.
2) You think psychology has helped many people overcome psychological problems that may have resulted in them becoming non-functioning members of society, harming others or harming themselves.
1) You feel an irrepressible need to tie Tom Cruise to a volcano and then blow him up with nuclear bombs.

I think that last one is particularly telling.

2 Responses to “Happy New Year!”

  1. I’ve often wondered who is this Xenu person anyway? – now, thanks to Xenuism, we’ll be able to find out!

    I’m glad to confirm that all the symbols of Scientology can be clearly and easily inverted – very important for any Manual of Xenu

    are Thetans welcome in the Church of Xenu? surely they can’t all be couch-hopping yobos?

  2. another one – stonings and rules against entertainment in any form cause you stress…–>

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