Like Hey Shoo Wow Fully Dude

In news of altworld, it’s slowly creeping into my workplace. Since moving to the new office, rose quartz crystals have mysteriously been appearing in all the potplants. Silly me, here i thought it was just decoration. No, turns out that they are expected to ‘absorb the negative energy and radiation’ from all the monitors.

….

Sorry, i had to pick my jaw up from the floor. That supposedly educated people can trot out this rubbish continues to surprise me. Even if rose quartz did absorb radiation, having one little crystal in the vague vacinity would not help. It’s like telling someone having an x-ray taken that they’re going to put a piece of lead on the other side of the room and it’s going to work as a shield. The only way the quartz would shield you when you’re surrounded by electronica is if you built a sphere of it and worked from inside there. Of course that’s hardly going to be practical. Or cheap.

I swear to god the day our boss tells us we’re going to all have our horoscopes or human pin codes compared in order to create a better office dynamic, i will quit, even though i love this job. No questions asked, i will just quit.

While i’m ranting about the new office look, let me talk about the art. Today we mounted several pieces of supposed ‘fine art’ that look like something tourists would buy at a street market and think ‘oh it’s so african, isn’t it quaint’. Gah. It’s horrible. This is something very typical of South African businesses that are trying to advertise to their clients that they are Afrocentric and MultiEthnic and all those other bullshit catch phrases expected to win business. The only thing wrong with doing it in our office is that all our clients are overseas! The only people who walk into this office are the people who work here. And. We. Don’t. Care.

It’s the african equivalent of American businesses putting Native American art everywhere, or Austalian business putting Aborigine art everywhere. It doesn’t impress. It looks fake and disingenuous. It looks like you’re trying too hard.

And in real news….

There was a massive fire on Table Mountain yesterday, started by a British tourist who was witnessed flicking a cigarette butt out of his car window. He’s been arrested and his passport confiscated as part of his bail conditions. Interestingly he’s being charged with culpable homocide after one woman out walking with her daughter was killed. The weird thing is – she’s a British tourist too. Haven’t they had enough of killing each other in their own country, they have to come do it here?

One Response to “Like Hey Shoo Wow Fully Dude”

  1. Hahaha – I buried the crystal in the plant near me – it kept looking at me all funny and stuff.🙂

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