Hail Xenu!

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have come out to the world media as Xenuists! The South Park creators had this message for scientologists:

So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

Hail Xenu, indeed. And the reason for this outburst of Xenuist loyalty? Tom Cruise threatened to pull out of all promotions for Mission Impossible: 3 if the scheduled re-run of the now-infamous “Trapped in the Closet” South Park episode was not pulled by Comedy Central. Considering that Paramount and Comedy Central are both owned by Viacom, this isn’t implausible. Cruise’s camp denies it, of course, but industry sources, and Parker and Stone themselves, have confirmed the rumours that have been flying around the blogosphere since the episode was replaced by a trite ‘tribute to Chef’.

Yes, Tom Cruise is in fact a big girl’s blouse.

One Response to “Hail Xenu!”

  1. i told you we need to create a xenu religion. man, we could make so much cash off that.
    “if you want to make a cent a word become a writer. If you want to become rich create a religion.” (or something very similar) – Mr hubbard himself (proud inventor of scientology)

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