Link-Whorage Allsorts

(i realise it’s possible only the saffers in the audience may get that title… do you people overseas have that manna from heaven known as liquorice allsorts?)

Anyway, over on scienceblogs they’re asking the bloggers the question: if you could cause one invention from the last hundred years never to have been made at all, which would it be, and why?

It’s an interesting question, and there have been some interesting answers (none, scientology, embedded advertising, the nuke, landmines, etc). I think my answer would be:

Spam.

And i mean all sorts of spam. Phone spam (no, i do NOT want another credit card). Door to door spam (yes Jehovah’s Witnesses, i’m looking at you). Email Spam (half of Nigeria would suddenly be unemployed). Comment Spam (not even really sure who’s responsible for that shit). That weird not-quite-meat-stuff that comes in a can. Well, maybe not that last one, because then we wouldn’t have that wonderful ditty brought to us by the gentlemen of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. But you get the drift. I think the world would get along just fine without spam.

My second choice would be scientology, but someone else already picked it. And speaking of scientology (see that segue?), while TomKat insist that their baby’s name ‘Suri’ means Princess in Hebrew, some scholars are not only saying that it doesn’t mean Princess, they’re also saying what it does mean isn’t all that flattering. Says Gideon Goldenberg, a linguistics professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem:

“I really don’t know what they were thinking when they chose this name. It’s a term that denotes expulsion, like ‘Get out of here’. It’s pretty blunt.”

I think what the good professor is trying to say, although not in so many words, is that her name means Fuck Off. Can the Hebrish in the audience confirm (TW, I’m looking at you)?

Lastly, Al over at _villaLife (i just work with him, i take no responsibility) has posted that old chestnut, the MC Hammer Can’t Touch This video. Watch it. Tell me you do not laugh uncomfortably at the memory of the Eighties.

7 Responses to “Link-Whorage Allsorts”

  1. firstly – WHAT?!?! that man was WAY ahead of his time! just for that video, he DESERVED to be animated! watch the video again, this time try to imagine that it was made now!

    secondly – why on earth would i want to argue with the literary scholars? i don’t come into contact with words like that, so its use may have been transformed. also, if it’s from sanskrit or persian, then i guess they’re right about the name, wrong about the language. but yeah, tomkat is amusing.

    and i’m grateful for spam. it lets us know exactly who to target.

    my word verification is jazyuc. add a k and that pretty accurately describes how i feel.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I’m a friend of TW’s from Israel… Spot (formerly: the dog), as the case may be…

    I checked out my trusty Babylon:
    1) Syrian
    2) stevedore, docker, longshoreman

    Granted, its modern hebrew… but like TW said, Who am I to argue with literary scholars from huji?

    Oh yea… and why did the 80s have to end??? WHY??? *I* want pants like that!

  3. Hehe, I’m just imagining being introduced to little Suri and having the right to say “fuck you too” in response.

  4. apparently it means various things in Persian such as a species of rose, the color red, and a type of celebration. However, so far i have not seen any confirmation that it means princess in Hebrew. Their story is it’s a pronounciation of Sarah, who was a Hebrew princess (seems a bit tenous a link to me) but the scholars say it’s no pronounciation they’ve ever heard.

    They probably looked this shit up in some poorly researched Name Your Baby book instead of consulting people who actually speak the language.

  5. everybody i asked today laughed, it’s definitely a good form of “voetsek”

  6. A jewish friend of mine actually told me independantly that it means the equivalent of voetsek

  7. haha, independant verification! lovin’ it.

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