Like Kryptonite to Stupid

You gotta love the internet. When you’re stupid, people find out, and then they tell other people, and the next thing you know the entire intertron is trying to tell you in graphic detail just how stupid you are. Overnight, you are infamous.

Take this guy, for example. He’s a pro-lifer who took an Onion article on abortion so seriously that he blogged about it, trashing the ficticious character and her opinion. Honestly. He didn’t get that it was all made up, and that the ‘author’ doesn’t exist. What a wonderful testament to pro-lifer thought processes.

So what does he do when the entire english speaking web tells him he fucked up? He tries to spin doctor it in this equally hilarious follow up. He ends several paragraphs of frantic back-peddling with this definition of ‘satire’:

witty language used to convey insults or scorn; “he used sarcasm to upset his opponent”

Isn’t it funny that a) it’s not an entirely relevant definition, b) that isn’t even the full definition provided, and c) the identical definition is given for sarcasm, irony and caustic remark. The average internet user would conclude from point C that WordNet is probably not the best source of a definition. They would perhaps have taken the more relevant American Heritage Dictionary definition, also provided by dictionary.com: “A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit”. Not this guy, which only goes to show that his skills at separating the wheat from the chaff are seriously lacking. As one person aptly commented: ‘you fail at the internet’.

And then he wraps it up with a flourish:

Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the “satire” right back at them, don’t you?

Um, no. Asshat.

8 Responses to “Like Kryptonite to Stupid”

  1. With the number of idiots online, it makes me wonder if shouldn’t start taking the idea of an “infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters” a little more seriously.

  2. ah yes, the millenial version of the old tree-falling-in-a-forest question: if we kidnapped all the people who are generating internet content and replaced them with monkeys, would anyone notice?

  3. i feel you are being very unfair. if we replaced all the people that are generating the internet with monkeys, people would notice. the average quality would dramatically improve. monkeys are far less likely to fail at the internet.

  4. sorry guys, i’m going to get serious for a moment. what frightens me is what percentage of the population actually agrees with these kinds of moron (and yes, there are different kinds)… i’m not talking about the complete wankers who go out and picket abortions, i’m talking about the people sitting at home and thinking what they’re saying.

    and not just pro-lifers, there’re all sorts of warped crazes going around… how worried should we be, as “enlightened” or “thinking” people? or better yet – “not nosy” or “concerned about our own problems”? or even “people who don’t have too much time on their hands”?

    and you all made me feel bad, by the way. i failed at the internet too.

    i have an idea – instead of pro-choice rallys, we should organize anti-pro-life rallys, where we run around decapitating and flambe-ing anyone who doesn’t agree (to some extent) with that blue creature you once referred us too.

  5. yeah take bush for eg. he’s against abortion and stem cell research, but all for sending people to iraq to die. what kind of a fucked up value system is that?

    It amazes that people who are incapable of holding a single thought in their head, are perfectly comfortable holding two as long as they are utterly contradictory.

    I guess it’s like matter and anti-matter. Pity their heads don’t explode.

  6. which, of course, is where you come in – somebody has to do it for them! hurry up and mutate that power, already!

  7. Now I remember where I saw the name. Mainstream media was commenting on the “new phenomenon” of blogging and mentioned kyknoord’s blog in the Marie Claire. I thought I’d heard the name somewhere before.
    He’s famous!!

  8. yeah, i have famous people visiting me… i’m not sure if i should be proud or if i should clean up my act!

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