Midweek Cuckoo: Nancy Lieder
The Zeta Reticulans are talking to Nancy Lieder. They tell her all sorts of wonderful secrets about astronomy, human history and impending doom. They share these things with her because she is special, and because they want to give humans a chance to mend their ways, avoid disaster and move toward a great galactic civilization.
That is, if you believe Nancy. But if you believe her, you also have to believe that the Zeta Reticulans, or Zetans, are either liars, pranksters, or failures at astronomy. Because nothing they predict ever comes true, and nothing they tell Nancy about the universe ever bears any resemblance to reality.
Take their 2003 prediction for example: Nancy was adamant that Planet X was zipping towards our solar system, followed by a tail of meteors. It would pass near Earth on May 15, causing the planet’s magnetic pole to flip over, creating massive, worldwide disaster a la The Core. Naturally since we’re all here the Zetans were just having a laugh at Nancy’s expense.
Or how about in 1995 when Nancy claimed the Zetans had assured her there was no such thing as Comet Hale-Bopp, that what astronomers had seen was just a star and would get no closer. Those Heaven’s Gate guys just can’t catch a break, can they – first people are trying to tell them there’s no spaceship behind the comet, then Nancy comes out claiming there is no comet. Nancy predicted that the date on which the comet was to make its closest approach would be a non-event. It certainly wasn’t a non-event for 39 people in San Diego. And the rest of the world saw a rather nice comet in the night sky. Those nutty Zetans!
Then again, I hate to be the one to suggest it but Nancy may not be the butt of an intergalactic running gag – she may just be crazy. Go look at her website and judge for yourself. This page is a prime example – you can see ‘kook’ rubber stamped all over it. I had to stop reading after the first few lines, in fear that my brain might implode.
I’ll wrap up with a quote from the Chosen Conduit of the Zeta Reticulan Empire:
So, I had a visitation from Pumpkin heads (the big guys, see Zeta Types in Worlds) and they told me that when I went into my office I’d find the MUFON mags turned face down, not up as usual, and that would be my sign. So I went in, all excited, and they were face up. Got hysterical. Another visitation, and they said “this is why we don’t give signs on demand! If they go wrong, or are perceived wrong, hysterics, etc.” So I understood, not on demand.
Nah, she can’t be crazy. It’s those naughty Zetans and their fickle, fickle nature.