I have arrived

Well, I’m in NY, I’m in one piece, and I’m in bed. And, crap on a stick, it’s hot here. Coming from the middle of winter to 30 plus degree heat (that’s celsius, i can’t think in your american units) is just plain unpleasant.

The flights were a good deal better than last year. I really wanted to check in at Cape Town and say ‘I know my ticket says New York, but can you send me to Atlanta instead and send my bags to New York two days later?’ And then when the ticket monkey behind the desk says no, I’ll point out that they managed it last time. However I was flying KLM this time instead of SAA (never again if I can help it), so i figured it wasn’t fair to take out my anger on the Hollish. Anyway, flights were fine, I actually managed to get some sleep which is utterly bizarre. I blame it on a combination of alcohol, one of those blow-up pillows that looks like something you use when you have hemorrhoids, and the nifty way you can fold the headrest in on each side (never been on a plane where you could do that before). Second best flight i’ve had so far.

The airports sucked though. The first flight left cape town at 23:35, at which point the entire place had shut down. Every single shop in the duty free area was closed, and I was damn lucky to get one customs official still on duty to declare my laptop going out. Then in amsterdam i had some loud kid take an unhealthy interest in blowing raspberries at me. His mother was nowhere to be seen, but later when I saw her trailing four of her unholy spawn I understood. JFK was the most interesting. The line at passport control is monumental, but it was made really entertaining by some crazy ukranian woman who kept trying to push past me. At one stage she managed to get ahead of me by slipping through a gap between the bollards and a potplant, while i went around the potplant like everyone else (silly me). But then she lost her advantage by walking back past me to greet some fellow traveller. She then spent the next half hour trying to get past me on the inside lane. I don’t know what kind of manners they teach people in the ukraine, but holy crap they were a pushy lot. I managed to block the woman from pushing past me (although if she’d got up any closer to me she would have been spelunking up my ass) only to have some other guy push in front of me once I actually got to a lane. This was shortly after the guy in front of me suddenly stepped out of the line and walking over to another line. I thought it was a little odd, until I stepped forward to fill the vacuum, and found it pre-filled. It was just foul. I tried to give him a dirty look but he wouldn’t look my way. I wonder why?

So I’m going to stay in bed, watch some TV, relax, and then get some sleep. Suffice to say, I’m tired.


4 Responses to “I have arrived”

  1. lol @ the crazy ukranian. i can only imagine…

  2. hey, they’d fit right in… oh wait. most of them ducked here. and we have the same problem. odd coincidence?

  3. i had a crazy nigerian woman last time i was in that line. the security guard had to chase her to the back of the line repeatedly. somehow she got the idea that you don’t have to understand ANY english and still be able to jump the line and get into america.

    silly woman. that only applies to the mexican border.

  4. Cr41g: hey man, nice to see you here!

    TW: sorry for you

    Wyrd: and those border patrol people carry guns. Real ones. With bullets. I wonder what they would have done if she’d made a break for it.

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