Midweek Cuckoo: Ingrid Newkirk

Ingrid NewkirkGodwin’s Law, roughly paraphrased, states that in any long-running argument as time goes by the probability of one side comparing the other to Hitler approaches unity. A corollary of this law is that once you’ve brought Hitler into the argument, you’ve automatically lost.

Ingrid Newkirk doesn’t believe in Godwin’s law. In fact, she believes in coming right out of the gate with Hitler, slavery, and just about any other sensitive topic she can, in order to promote her own lunatic agenda. You may not be familiar with Ingrid herself, but I know you’re all familiar with her cult: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA.

Born in Britain and raised in India, Ingrid Newkirk is president of PETA and co-founded the organization in 1980 after a long career in law enforcement and animal protection. Ingrid has been a Maryland state law enforcement officer, District of Columbia deputy sheriff, animal protection officer and eventually chief of Animal DIsease Control for DC’s Commission on Public Health. This all seems like a sterling background for a woman who calls herself an animal rights activist, and who claims to have only the best interests of our furry friends at heart. Disturbing then to read this quote from Ingrid, regarding her activities while director of a DC animal shelter:

I would go to work early, before anyone got there, and I would just kill the animals myself. Because I couldn’t stand to let them go through … [other workers abusing the animals]. I must have killed a thousand of them, sometimes dozens every day.

Heartwarming, isn’t it? In fact, PETA’s official position on euthenasia is almost eager. The majority of animals that PETA takes in are put down by them. They have a very large meat locker for storing the corpses – the purchase is on their public tax records, and vendors have stated that the only other reason they would need a fridge of that size is for storing meat. In fact, while PETA recommends euthenasia for sick and dying animals, they also recommend it for certain breeds like pit bulls even if they are perfectly healthy and content. Ingrid feels that death is kinder than life for these products of human manipulation of the natural order.

Let’s hear a little more from Ingrid:

Pet ownership is an absolutely abysmal situation brought about by human manipulation.

Take note, all you animal lovers out there who support PETA – part of the mission of PETA is to take away your pets. Ingrid sees pets as today’s slaves, carefully ignoring the fact that slaves are still today’s slaves. So you may want to reassess your allegiance to an organization that believes your loving relationship with your animal companion is actually one of gross subjugation of a slave to cruel master, and that your dear pet should be taken away from you for its own good (and probably euthenised into the bargain). They also think that in the meantime, until they manage to outlaw pets, you should at the very least be sterilizing them and feeding them a Vegan diet. I’m not making this stuff up.

Here’s another gem:

I openly hope that it [hoof-and-mouth disease] comes here. It will bring economic harm only for those who profit from giving people heart attacks and giving animals a concentration camp-like existence. It would be good for animals, good for human health and good for the environment.

Ah yes, someone who claims to love animals is actively hoping that hoof and mouth disease strikes them down, only because a side effect might be that humans will stop farming them. Lovely. Here’s more if you can stomach it:

No movement for social change has ever succeeded without ‘the militarism component’. Not until black demonstrators resorted to violence did the national government work seriously for civil rights legislation. In the 1930s labor struggles had to turn violent before any significant gains were made. In 1850 white abolitionists, having given up on peaceful means, began to encourage and engage in actions that disrupted plantation operations and liberated slaves. Was that all wrong?

Yes, how can we forget PETA’s association with terrorist organizations like the Animal Liberation Front, and their viewpoint that violence is a means to an end. They have donated money to ALF, have supported the legal defense of career criminals like Rod Coronado (who now travels around the USA talking to school children about animal rights and showing them how to make Molotov cocktails from household objects), and despite their numerous illegal acts Ingrid has stated that she will be the last person to condemn ALF. They’ve been lucky so far, but one of these days a scientist is going to be working late when they decide to firebomb a lab. Not that they’ll really care though.

Need final proof that Ingrid is nuts? Here’s one last quote:

I plan to send my liver somewhere in France, to protest foie gras … I plan to have handbags made from my skin … and an umbrella stand made from my seat

Wikipedia has an excellently-referenced article if you want to know more about PETA and some of the crazy stunts they pull. Here are some more quotes from Ingrid if you can handle it. All unattributed quotes above come from these two sources.

Edit: 1d10t error code: it’s Godwin’s law, not Gideon’s law. Definite pebkac issue, right there.


8 Responses to “Midweek Cuckoo: Ingrid Newkirk”

  1. It looks like Tim Burton lifted some of the inspiration for ‘Mars Attacks!’ from her tightly-coiled “We’re killing you for your own good” brand of logic.

  2. Quite likely. Do you think the yodelling of Slim Whitman will make her head explode? Because that would just be too perfect.

  3. Ha ha… our dear Ingrid is definately not of this earth.
    When she dies, they should just feeed her to a pack of hungry lions… that would be the ethical thing to do.

  4. Good freaking god(s)!

    This woman is mental… I don’t believe in harming animals, but hell… this woman should be euthenised, and then hung in a meat locker.

  5. i was thinking a necklacing, but that’s just abuse of the poor tire. we should free tires. all of them. and then burn them, with peta members inside.

    tires are slaves to cars…

  6. that law should extend to the inclusion of not only Hitler, but also The Founding Fathers and The Myth of Sisyphus. You can always work this triumverate into any conversation!

  7. And following on Gideon’s heals would be Denniston’s Law, which states that Virtue is it’s own punishment.

    And if I was a cynic, I’d say that Glyme’s formula for success is also relevant.

    Oh wait, I am a cynic.

    And Glyme’s formula states that ‘The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.’

  8. One of my favorite’s is Hanlon’s Razor: never attribute to malice that which may be adequately explained by stupidity.

    Wikipedia has a great list of eponymous adages.

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