Emmy Awards: Free Thought Process

When the Oscars were on earlier this year, i blogged while i was watching them. This year I was sitting on my own in a hotel room in boca raton watching the emmies, so i figured i might as well share my thoughts with the world since there was no one else there, and i feel a little odd laughing out loud in an empty room. So what follows is my free thought commentary on the Emmies. It’s random, so i’ll tuck it below the fold.

Conan O’Brian’s opening was great, especially where he ends up on South Park and won’t come out of the closet. Tom Cruise really has become the laughing stock of the entertainment industry. I wonder if he’ll try and sue NBC now for showing him in the closet with Conan? Wouldn’t surprise me.

Ah, looks like Jason Lee has walked right off the set of My Name Is Earl and put on a suit without bothering to run a brush through his hair. Why is it sticking up like that? And why is it reminding me of Cameron Diaz?

A guy on a Segway… what the hell? Is David Lynch directing this year’s Emmy Awards? Are there going to be midgets talking backwards?

Isn’t it a little weird that the host is also a nominee? I find i’m rooting for either Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart in this category…yes! Jon Stewart! Go Jon, Go Jon! Okay, so i’m a big fangirl, whatever.

Um, when did Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts get so big?

oh my god, they dug up Barry Manilow and animated his corpse to sing and dance in honour of Dick Clark. What’s with his blonde spikey hair these days? He looks like the bastard child of Rod Steward and Liza Minelli. That guy creeps me out. Oh Jesus, he just won an Emmy! And his face is so stiff from all the face lifts (or is that the embalming fluid?) that he can’t even smile while saying thanks. Creeeeeeeepy. I keep trying to spot the wires keeping him upright.

Hey look, Tom Selleck and Jeremy Irons wore the same facial hair… how embarrassing for them.

Jon Stewart wins another one! I would have that man’s babies.

And Tony Shalhoub picks up another emmy for Monk. I think we all knew when he was playing Antonio the cab driver in Wings that this was a funny, funny man.

And here’s the obligatory salute to the career of Aaron Spelling. I’m not so sure about his net value… on one hand, he gave us the Scream Trilogy, Starsky and Hutch, TJ Hooker, Charmed and Charlie’s Angels (which inevitably led to the remake and that scene with Lucy Liu and a riding crop). On the other hand he gave us The Love Boat, Dynasty, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, and Tori Spelling. I’m not sure those balance out. Especially with Tori Spelling on the ‘against’ side.

Kneel before your god, Babylon!!! This is so going to be on Youtube tomorrow. Good to see that Stephen Colbert also hates Barry Manilow. As he rightly should. People shouldn’t be allowed to win awards post-humously, even if they do pitch up to collect them.

Felicity Huffman… I’m never going to look at her or her husband again without remembering Stephen Colbert’s version of their name, along the Brangelina/TomKat/Bennifer line – Filliam H. Muffman. Go on, say it out loud.

Yep, and another Barry Manilow hater… I’m not alone.

Keifer wins the emmy for 24… yawn. We all saw that coming. If Jack Bauer were in charge of the Emmies it would be over already.

Aaaw, they let Bob Newhart out of the airtight container… I was hoping they’d suffocate him.

And it’s over. Oh well, that’s it until next year. Not as exciting as I hoped, but shorter than usual. At least Conan was funny, even if he does look like a Leprechaun with a shillelagh up his ass.

8 Responses to “Emmy Awards: Free Thought Process”

  1. actually: lynch’s midgets were talking forwards…kinda
    they learnt their lines backwards and said them backwards, and then they played the recorded sound backwards.
    result: forwards speech that sounds like backtracking mixes.
    (well… that was in twin peaks at least.)

  2. HoleyCrusader Says:

    erm… who’s Jon Stewart?

  3. blasphemy!

    google him. Or even better, youtube him. I suggest the Crossfire interview to start off with.

  4. i think hc’s just having us on. and PLEASE would you provide a youtube link? my work-time only allows one click per site (damn work. but at least i’m not COMPLETELY homeless)

  5. I was dissapointed in conan actually. He just didn’t pull it off.

    Then again, I think I was setting myself up when I declared to the other people in the tv room that conan is the funiest person on tv.

  6. conan has great lines… but he has absolutely no concept of “execution”. except when he’s using a sock puppet.

  7. for TW and HC: link to Stephen Colbert (he of the Colbert Report) and Jon Stewart (the shorter one of the two) presenting at the Emmies, courtesy of MKL (HBDC dev guy):

    If you don’t laugh, your funny gland is broken.

  8. wyrd: conan’s not as funny as, say, jon stewart, but he’s not as bad as, say, david letterman. Say it with me people:

    “Uma….Oprah….Uma…..Oprah….Keanu…..”

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