You’d think priests would have read the Bible

A priest in Gabon decided to prove to his congregation that his faith in God would allow him to walk on water. He strode confidently out into the waves, and drowned.

Maybe it’s not that God hates him, or doesn’t exist; maybe God was just so impressed at his faith he decided to promote him to Heaven ahead of schedule.

Or maybe god just can’t resist a good prank. After all,ย to paraphrase the warning that god gives several times in the bibleย (Deuteronomy 6:16, Matthew 4:17, Luke 4:12):

Don’t tempt me.

You’ve been warned. God has very weak self control and can’t be held liable for his actions.

(via Pharyngula)

21 Responses to “You’d think priests would have read the Bible”

  1. naah. i’m guessing if they’d really read the bible, they’d become reborn atheists.

  2. pity he couldn’t tread water.
    (well.. not really. if you’re *that* stupid)

  3. Maybe he just fucked up the recipe. I seem to recall that you need mustard seeds to move mountains, but the requirement for water walking eludes me for the moment.

  4. This guy is as thick as he is dumb. Surely by the time the water reached his waist he should have realised that he was not walking ON water, rather IN it.
    I read somewhere “God help those who help themselves” – the priest clearly decided not to.

  5. Zen: do priests who are celebate automatically qualify for the darwin award? You’re an idiot, and you’ve removed yourself from the gene pool…

    kyknoord: i think the requirement is that you’re the son of god. Or a very very small insect. Or that lizard that runs on water. Or that the water is only 3mm deep.

    chitty: i suspect he thought that at any moment god would reward his faith by lifting him from the waves, and if his faith waivered at any moment he would drown. But if we really knew what motivated people to do stuff like this, we’d know how to convince them not to.

  6. being that he was trying to make a statement on faith, i’d have to assume that his flock NEEDED some convincing. i think it’s sort of funny that they let him drown. if their faith was weak, you’d think one of them would just give up on the exercise and jump in to save the crazy old guy. maybe they just didn’t like him.

  7. haha… maybe they didn’t like him so much that they sowed lead weights into his robes…

  8. CanYouGuess Says:

    You strike again. I have read this blog on and off for the last year and it never ceases to amaze me how utterly disrespectful you are of other’s beliefs. As a devout atheist I thought you would at least have realised by now that you can’t really know ‘the answer’
    So, at the very least, a little tolerance and maybe just an ounce of respect for those who have a different faith would be appropriate.

  9. erm. or maybe you should be a little more selective about whose blogs you read. unless moonflake invited you. in which case i’d give her props ๐Ÿ˜€

    oh, yes. speaking of which – funny how little respect some of our christian brethren have for OUR beliefs. like, i dunno, evolution?

    canyouguess: *ignore on*
    -personal ignore from totalwaste enforced.

  10. The reagent for water walking is Fish Oil

  11. erm … a subtle point regarding the priest in Gabon … perhaps you missed it … he died! Have some respect!!!

  12. That’s one of societies little weirdnesses that I have never understood: the automatic forgiveness of everything that happened to someone when they die.

    Feel pity to his family. Feel (very little) pity for the banks that had loaned him money.

    But to suddenly have respect for him? No. He is – no, he was an idiot. Though I suppose if his beliefs are, indeed true, he still is an idiot.

  13. Ditto again Says:

    Picture this – your girlfriend / boyfriend / significant other’s mother just kills herself by trying to dry her hair while in the bath. Idiotic? Of course. Should you have some respect for the fact the she died? Of course!

    And who said anything about forgiveness? There’s nothing to forgive. The point is this thread is mocking someone for doing something out of faith. You may believe his was faith was misplaced but this doesn’t entitle you to ridicule him.

  14. “respect for the fact that she died”… i have FULL respect for the fact that he died – especially that he did it in such an amusingly idiotic manner. does that make it better?

    so you’re saying we’re not entitled to ridicule somebody who truly believes in p**sy-trolls? (sorry, it got stuck in my head from clerks 2, it had to come out somewhere)

  15. SomeGoodAdvice Says:

    Seems you are not getting the point. No matter. Just dunk your head in cold water for a while. It will help with the swelling.

  16. CanYouGuess: If you’ve been reading this blog on and off for the last year, and are continually amazed at my disrespect, it begs the question: why don’t you just stop reading?

    synk: you big WoW geek *jealousy*

    Ditto: a subtle point about this blog, in case you missed it: i don’t care!! stupid is as stupid does, death will not save you from my ridicule.

    Andy M: well said

    Ditto again: i’m sure that priest’s boyfriend is very respectful of his death.

    TW: you had to go there, didn’t you?

    SomeGoodAdvice: Seems YOU are not getting the point – if he truly was faithful, he would know that God has said THREE TIMES in the bible not to test Him. Even the faithful should be mocking this guy, not only did he fail at basic self preservation, he should have failed at Bible Studies, if an atheist knows the bible better than he does.

  17. Ditto again Says:

    This does seem to be going off track a bit, but seems you asked:

    I’m not likely to stop reading your blog just because I disagree with you. Is this something you would advocate yourself? I doubt it.

    My last point on the priest (really). My comments were not remarking on religion or lack there of or even on how thoroughly someone reads the bible (I’m sure you’ve read yours cover to cover). It just seems to me that your attitiude towards people whose views (especially with regards to faith) differ from yours is to wait until they are down and then kick in the balls to make sure they stay down.

    I would hope that you are not the kind of person who stands on the side lines and laughs when someone hurts themselves (even if they are doing something stupid). But then again maybe you are.

  18. you are welcome to read my blog as often or rarely as you like; i’m merely pointing out that i am no more likely to change my attitude based on your comments than you are likely to change yours based on my posts, so commenting that you find me disrespectful is an exercise in futility. If you have an issue with that, then i absolutely would suggest that you stop reading, if only to spare you some needless frustration.

    as to my attitude to other people’s faith, as a member of the reality-based community i have just as much right to mock someone’s belief in god as i have to mock their belief that the moon is made of green cheese. Both beliefs have equal merit, and their believers are equally deluded and detached from reality. This blog is largely about people who are stupid, crazy or both. The faithful of all kinds, whether they believe in gods, alien abduction or the Easter Bunny, definitely fit into the ‘both’ category.

    And yes, if someone hurts themselves doing something stupid that all evidence pointed to as being stupid, and they still did it anyway, i absolutely will laugh at them. Reason obviously didn’t stop them from doing it this time, if they survive maybe ridicule will stop them from doing it next time.

  19. and for anyone who’s still wondering: the easter bunny is dead.

    ditto: you obviously haven’t been paying attention: moonflake’s only too happy to kick them in the balls when they’re standing at the ready. and that’s a difference that’s as subtle as she is ๐Ÿ˜‰

    moonflake: yes. yes i did. ๐Ÿ˜›

  20. hm that made me laugh
    i think you’re right
    god decided to reward him with a first class direct ticket to heaven
    darwin award that one i think

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