Animal Liberation Front Kill 15,000 Halibut

Well, you gotta hand it to the ALF, they sure do know how to ‘liberate’ animals… from this mortal plane, that is. This month, they freed 15,000 halibut from a fish farm, into the wild. Where they promptly died, because they are not wild halibut.

This is yet another example of just how stupid these people are. Real ecologists or animal experts would understand that you can’t just take a bunch of farm reared animals and drop them into the ocean, any more than you could take your average city dweller and drop them in the middle of the sahara desert. They just can’t survive. Never mind that fish farms are helping to prevent overfishing in the seas. No, no, we must kill the fish to send a message to the fish eaters that they shouldn’t … kill fish. Or something.

Of course, this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled a stunt that clearly displayed their stupidity. Earlier this year they cut the fences at a deer farm, and lo and behold, none of the well cared for and healthy deer wanted to leave their safe, comfortable home and venture out into the wild where the predators were waiting. What a freaking surprise.

I think that we should ‘liberate’ the members of ALF. I mean, they’re animals after all, so we should return them to their natural habitat. Lets see how long they survive in the african savannah without food, water or shelter, and with lions prowling all about. I’m sure they’ll much prefer it to the prisons of their houses, with all those artificially soft surfaces, that disgusting proliferation of food and the horrific social injustice of warm clothing.


10 Responses to “Animal Liberation Front Kill 15,000 Halibut”

  1. i beleive scott ramsoomair put it best, ‘oh, i’m going to liberate the shit out of you’. oh wait, that was comedy and not real life. sometimes it is hard to tell the difference

  2. How’s this for wierd coincidence – Kyknoord was at my party on Sat night. (I didn’t meet him but he wrote his email down on my list. Unless of course it was some kyknoord impersonator. Maybe an ex-girlfriend who writes down his email at every conceivable opportunity in order to spam him!) Anyway, it was rawking party and Halloween is going to be bigger and better!!

  3. No. THIS is a weird co-incidence: While I was reading Moonflake’s post, I was also surfing the pictures on Bast’s party site, since the link had just been sent to me by my good friend, DJ J00.

    Kyknood, incidentally, was in your part of the world last weekend, as even my mother knows. (Really.)

    Scary, isn’t it, how we all seem to know each other?

  4. Bast: I am very upset that i can’t come to the halloween one… Zenstar is writing exams and i would be sucky girlfriend to go without him.

    Salman: explain THAT, skeptics!!!

  5. is it just me or does everyone see short furry cat-eating aliens running around whenever ALF is mentioned?

  6. Aaw! sux about Halloween. Ardi is coming back for it. Since threre are now conversations going on between your commentators, perhaps you should think about a forum 😉
    Salman: I gave DJ J00 his styling prententious DJ name.

  7. Moonflake: I’m writing to The Amazing Randi tonight!

  8. Bast: zomg… he’s not… hebrish, is he? Bcos that’s just too funny

    Salman: w00t! Million bucks!

  9. yes, DJ J00 is in fact hebrish. I laughed a lot. He didn’t think it was quite as funny but has apparently adopted it anyway.

  10. yes – i heard of the likes of various other liberated animals such as mink running wild and getting promptly run over in vast hordes and then causing devastation to the local wildlife. ironically these alf types don’t know to much about sensitive ecologies etc and the damage of non-native species. also they seem to think that wearing rubber boots will save the planet – and then they get very agressive towards non-vegetarians because they are evil ‘carnivores’ and therefore they have to put out all of their agression they don’t put on edible animals instead onto other humans instead.
    maybe the alf will evolve into cannibals in order to save the little wabbits.

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