How to Piss Off a Scientologist
Ever get stuck at a party talking to a scientologist? Ever wonder how to get rid of them? This post was a comment I left on another blog, but I thought it belonged up here too.
1) tell them you think Xenu is just misunderstood
2) tell them you’re a psychologist
3) ask them about the office space they keep open in all the scientology buildings awaiting L. Ron Hubbard’s imminent return.
4) ask them if they’d be willing to rent it out in the meantime
5) ask them why they call non-scientologists ‘wogs’, and whether or not they think that’s inappropriate in the new South Africa
6) mention that you’ve always been quite interested in volcanoes. Don’t say why.
7) ask them how they feel about the whole North Korea/ Iran nuclear weapons issue, and if they think the leaders of those countries are just tools of Xenu trying to destroy more Thetans
8 ) tell them you’ve been declared ‘fair game’, and ask what they’re going to do about it.
9) ask them to demonstrate an ‘assist’
10) stamp on their toe and swear at the same time. Congratulations, you have just engrammed a scientologist. If they complain, tell them to go get audited.
I’m open to more suggestions.