Jailhouse Missives

It seems Kent Hovind, aka Prisoner #135733, has been blogging from jail, where he is currently awaiting sentencing on January 19. Here’s what the good doctor has to say:

The five new converts that are in this pod with me are meeting with me four to five times each day for Bible study and prayer.  This is a pastor’s dream!  It would take most churches a year to cover what we cover every week.  Our group has been through, verse-by-verse, Matthew, Mark and Acts as well as most of Proverbs.  I started with the 6,000-year time line and gave several days of general overview of the entire Bible.

I have also been teaching math and science to some of the others.  It is great to see convicted drug dealers get excited when they learn fourth grade level math for the first time.  I have spent quite a bit of time with one 29-year-old man who cannot read at all.  I have been teaching him phonics and we are reading Genesis 1, 2, 3 and John 1, 2, and 3.  His face lights up when he sees that he can do it.   I offer commissary items like soup or coffee to men who memorize Bible verses.  There is no way to describe the joy that they show when they get it right.  Many have never memorized scriptures in their life, and maybe that is why they are in jail.

If this guy makes it to sentencing without a shank in the gut, I will be amazed. Never mind that Hovind’s scientific and mathematical abilities are more than a little lacking. Crackpot theories about dinosaurs and the age of the earth aside, this is someone who thinks sound is part of the electromagnetic spectrum, doesn’t know how the sun burns without oxygen, thinks that redshift means that the red parts of the spectrum shift away from the other colours, thinks that a problem with evolution is that it’s unlikely that two cells of opposite sex evolved from the primordial soup at the same time, that at the beginning of time hydrogen condensed to form solid rock, that all dinosaurs walked on four legs, that the light coming from your headlights when you’re travelling at 60mph is itself travelling at c + 60mph, that x-rays cause wrinkles, that there are only 92 elements, that there are no other stars in the solar system with planets around them (okay, that one is technically accurate),  that cancer is caused by a lack of vitamin B17, that there’s no proof the T-Rex was a meat-eater, that chiropractors can cure allergies by adjusting your back and neck, that bugs breath through sphericals… i think you get the drift. Not sure I’d want this guy teaching anyone science.

But what do you expect from a man who received his higher education here:

Patriot University 2001 

Patriot University in 2001

Patriot University 2006 

Patriot University in 2006

8 Responses to “Jailhouse Missives”

  1. i’m having trouble with the idea that what he’s writing is true. but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt (hell, it’s always worked before!): it may or may not be a good thing that he’s getting prisoners excited about “learning”. maybe, in some way, it will be to the benefit of society as a whole.

    but take one second to imagine the horror that could be unleashed on an unsuspecting public if a bunch of thugs are released and attempt to “convert” others to their new-found religion. i have a feeling that these emisseries would use serious strong-arm tactics and use their religion as a front for ille… oh, wait. nevermind. i just realized that this is “the way”.

    let’s all find religion! everyone wants to be part of our gang congregation!

  2. I think what they are learning is that if they appear to have ‘got religion’ while they were in jail, and can even recite biblical verses, then that will go down a treat with the parole board.

    But lets give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re not in jail for being criminals. Maybe they are just sweet, innocent young men who’ve had some bad luck and want to turn their lives around. Maybe Kent is helping them, even though he is probably telling them that the earth is only 6000 years old and that dinosaurs walk among us now. At some point he is going to try this crap on a hardened criminal who does not have time for the patronising rantings of a deranged pastor from Pensecola. Someone who is not childlike and sweet, but who is smart, and savage, and chose his life.

    I do not feel that it will go well for the good doctor.

  3. maybe he’ll be re-educated on sodom and gemorrah…

  4. Two thoughts… if I may…

    1) those two pictures of Patriot University look really different – unless they knocked it down and rebuilt it?

    2) an article about Kent Hovind being held in jail while a child molester’s out on bail http://www.expertclick.com/NewsReleaseWire/default.cfm?Action=ReleaseDetail&ID=14642 – do you really think Hovind’s the bigger threat/risk?

    Sometimes I wonder why it seems the crimes regarding money are punished so much more severely than those affecting human lives – yet we say a human life is priceless, go figure.

  5. 1) they have moved since the first picture. Neither their old ‘campus’ nor their new ‘campus’ look much like a ‘university’. What’s your point?

    2) Please don’t tell me you’re seriously taking this line of argument – it’s completely emotive. Do you really think that if one child molestor gets bail that we should just throw up our hands and let everyone whose crime – in your view – is ‘lesser’ to just stroll around until sentencing, regardless of their individually assessed likelihood of flight? If not, then what on earth are you raising the point for? It is utterly irrelevant to the argument of whether Hovind’s likelihood of flight was adequately assessed. Hovind has the means and money to run, and just before the trial he was seriously campaigning to get his passport back, which is more than enough for a judge to suspect he might flee. Putting him in jail until sentencing has nothing to do with the nature of the crime and everything to do with the nature of the man.

    Never mind that by saying ‘crimes regarding money are punished more severely than those affecting human lives’ implies that you think monetary crimes don’t affect human lives. They do. Hovind did not just steal from the government, he stole from his employees by not paying their medical aid or unemployment. If any of them had needed an operation, his crime would very severely affect them. In addition, the statement is just blatantly ridiculous – no one ever got the electric chair for embezzling.

    Seriously, this is getting added to the fallacy page the second i have a chance.

  6. 1) I didn’t know, which is why I asked, thanks for the reply 🙂

    2) Well, I got home from work and discussed this with my brother (a “non-believer”) and I admit I’ve had to change my reasoning – my view was “you hold onto whoe ver’s most dangerous”, but as he said “you hold onto who ever’s going to be hardest to catch again”. I’m just not so sure Hovind was about to go into hiding (would make it a little difficult for him to continue his ministry), though I suppose he could’ve left the country. Yup, that’s it, he was trying to sneak away to South Africa (like the Pensacola journalist said), heh, sure… where “like-minded people” (“Christians” or “tax frauds” I wonder) are going to hide him.

  7. SlashGordon Says:

    After reading Hovind’s blog, I thought, good for him and the prisoners. You show your bias when attacking the good he’s doing in prison. You think that you’re so perfect and know it all. You’re too arrogant to even be taken seriously. Can it be, that you’re secretly amazed, that Hovind seems to be enjoying himself in prison, and you just can’t stand it?

    Even if he does have his personal reasons for not paying taxes, such as taxes going towards public schools that teach the fairy tale called,”The Theory of Evolution, he still is running a religious organization and the money that was received was from that ministry, not some restaurant, store or tavern. The IRS can do that to anyone, and it won’t be too long before other religious organizations will feel it, to the grins of all atheists and evolutionists. He must’ve done something good, since he’s got the hairs of every atheists in the USA standing on end.

    As far as his employees not getting certain benefits or social security paid in, etc., they didn’t have to work for Hovind. It’s a choice. I remembered when I started working at 18, and I thought paying Social Security was a ripoff, since I knew how to save money, and the govenment is getting paid interest off my money. Now isn’t the government thieving? Now, illegal immigrants are getting free health care, free schooling, and other benefits, that my tax dollars is paying for. There are a lot of government attrocities, but yet you can attack Kent Hovind, only cuz he’s a threat to your fairy tale belief system.

    You heard of the princess that kissed the frog that became a prince? Well, evolution is the same fairy tale story, exept that time replaces the princess. Evolution: lizard+time=man.

    Whatever happened to the ACLU when you need them. Afterall, don’t they fight for the separation of church and state? Oh, that’s right, they only fight against the church, to stay out of state affairs, and not vice versa.

  8. You are the perfect argument for why people like Kent Hovind need to be stopped. Your brainwashed regurgitation of uneducated, country opinions only goes to prove that he is seriously getting in the way of bringing americans into the 21st centry. Your comments about illegal immigrants show you to be a bigotted, prejudiced moron, and your misunderstanding of the theory of evolution is perfect in its completeness.

    Ladies and gentlemen, i introduce to you the American Dream.

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