Midweek Cuckoo: George Hammond

I’ve briefly linked to George Hammond’s website once before, prior to the inception of the Midweek Cuckoo. I was reminded of him recently upon discovering that he has been “Highly Commended” in the 2006 Millenium Awards, over at the Millenium Project.

George Hammond holds the distinction of being the only living person to have accidentally stumbled upon scientific proof that God exists. He refers to it as the Scientific Proof of God, or SPOG.

Hammond has been through all the right channels in getting his theory taken seriously, such as writing an open letter to Stephen Hawking and Roger Penrose, publishing in an online ‘journal‘, creating a geocities site where he writes about himself in the third person, and making a general nuisance of himself on Usenet and other group forums. Hammond’s theory, in a nutshell, is that he can prove that God is an inevitable outcome of the theory of gravity, the growth of the brain, and the four-dimensional nature of psychology. I will give you a brief sampling of Hammond’s writings:

Related to XYZ the 3 dimensions of space.  Then, recalling our discussion in Section 1, we see that if we add Intelligence (called psychometric-g) which is Mental Speed to ENP, we have a complete relation between the XYZt of spacetime and the ENPg of psychometry space.  Finally after years of speculation about a connection between Relativity and Psychology, we have actually found the experimentally confirmed connection.

Now the next thing that happened is that Hammond, now realizing that Psychology was 4-dimensional, discovered that ENPg had a higher order Factor that was caused by brain growth.  Brain growth caused a “curvature” of ENPg space of exactly the same kind as Gravity caused of XYZt space.  And we immediately see why,  because psychometry space is caused by real space!

Within a short time Hammond identified this higher order Factor of ENPg as “God”- the traditional God of history, the God of the Bible.  This identification is made by brain growth, as we explained in Section 1, God is caused by brain growth.  We have actually found a scientific, experimentally confirmed, axiomatic physics, proof that God is caused by Gravity.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. If you fail to understand that high level summary, Hammond goes into 20 pages of excruciating detail. It is not for the faint-hearted. But suffice to say that God IS the Einstein Curvature Tensor of General Relativity. It’s all expressed by one simple equation:

God = Guv

Hammond also goes on to explain how the universe is only a few thousand years old, because the human brain constructs reality, therefore until God made the human brain, there was no reality (one wonders how there was God in the first place in order to create this reality and the humans in it, if he is a product of said reality). He also claims that animals have four legs because of the metric properties of four-dimesional real space, and has absolutely nothing to do with natural selection. He also engages in a hypothetical dialogue with Richard Feynman, trying to show how a real scientist would try to understand his work. Nice that Feynman isn’t around anymore to correct him. Personally, I think Feynman would certainly have had some choice words for Hammond, none of them flattering.

Of course, Hammond has been guilty of some rather unflattering words of his own. You see, he really doesn’t deal with criticism well. When Peter Bowditch of the Millenium Project confronted him about his theory, he received some choice responses. Here’s one of them:

No asshole…. I’ll TELL YOU what the f— is going on. Retrograde loudmouth criminal vandals and morons like you have been harassing a serious, competent and dedicated scientist on the Internet for 3 years now… and WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN because of your reckless, criminal, indefensible behavior is that somebody is going to get accidentally hurt just like when you start playing Chicken with a freight train, you stupid basteds. Someone is going to get hurt, and it ISN’T going to be me because I’m the freight train. It’s going to be one of you. In this case it may be Mike Varney Keep up your criminal, vandalistic, loudmouthed, wiseass harassment and abuse of a serious and dedicated scientist trying to present a serious scientific discovery and sooner or later one of you will accidentally get himself killed, you “fuckin moron”.

Yes indeed, this is a man who compares himself to Gregor Mendel and thinks Stephen Hawking should give him the time of day.


7 Responses to “Midweek Cuckoo: George Hammond”

  1. Con-Tester Says:

    Reality – the undoing of many a humble genius.

    There’s some truth to god being GR’s curvature tensor, though much more in an allegorical rather than Hammond’s literal sense, I think. The question of who or what doubles as the metric tensor arises naturally in this scheme, as does that of the meaning of a g(e)odesic.

  2. This reminds me of what happens when you read The Onion and CNN.com at the same time, and get confused about which story is on which site. Con_Tester, you are the master of satire, or so I hope.

  3. well, seeing as god is in the details, i suppose now would be a good time to investigate calabi-yau spaces to see if we can find him. when your curvature contains a good deal of aged beard-hair (reminiscent of mouldy rice), you might want to show a little respect.

  4. Shorter George Hammond
    XYZt = ENPg
    4 = 4

    Seriously though one has to marvel at a “mind” that actually believes that epectorated blob of blendered jargon contains even one quanta of useful information. His whole life must be like one big acid trip.

  5. I would pay more attention to science if actual scientists conducted discourse like that. Mind you, I would pay a lot less attention to science if more scientists were spouting drivel like his “proof” of god – so i suppose it evens out.

  6. Bonzo The Tap Dancing Chimp Says:

    Hammond’s work may indeed be of interest to the scientific community, especially those in the community seeking to understand mental disorders.

  7. I disagree
    Can you give more info?

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