US global warming solution: smoke and mirrors

The US goverment wants the world’s scientists to include in their global warming research the possibility of reflecting or blocking sunlight from entering the atmosphere in the first place.

Possible methods to be investigated include launching giant mirrors into space, pumping reflective dust into the atmosphere, using thousands of tiny reflective balloons, or filling the upper atmosphere with microscopic sulphate droplets to mimic the effects of a volcano. They claim this is important “insurance” in case attempts to reduce global emissions are not successfull.

Perhaps as insurance we should also be investigating creation of a time machine, to go back in time and warn the world before the damage is done in the first place. Or, we could be investigating some kind of bomb to launch at the sun to consume massive amounts of hydrogen, thereby cooling the sun itself. Or perhaps we should be researching space travel and terraforming, so that we can make ourselves a new earth after we’re done buggering up this one.

15 Responses to “US global warming solution: smoke and mirrors”

  1. Con-Tester Says:

    They should simply send Bush up there to orbit the sun, seeing as he’s nearly as dense as a black hole, so he’ll suck in most of the solar radiation.

    Then he’ll be of at least some use to humanity.

  2. can i go with that last one? only we disappear and build a new one *before* annihilating our current pebble. and we send off certain nations in the other direction.

  3. These people should watch Futurama (for the reflective mirror) and the Matrix (for blocking the sun with smoke) before proceeding. Then they should shut the hell up.

  4. But there is still one solution as yet unexplored:

    Space Sharks. With freaking lazorz on their heads to zap the incoming sunlight.

    It`ll work. All I need is one biiiiiiiiiiiiilllion dollars.

    Oh yes…and the sharks.

  5. Pfft. We need install booster rockets on the moon so we can put it in a solarsynchronous orbit (mine, I made it up, you can’t prove anything!), thereby putting us in a permanent state of solar eclipse!

    Genius, I tell you. And it’d do away with those blasted tide tables.

  6. there has already been research into this, and the us budget can afford it. all they need to do is put a giant fresnel lens in orbit between the sun and the earth. i’m too lazy to look up the details, but it is out there on the intarwebs

  7. On the topic: I would like to punt George Monbiot’s book Heat. It is a very well researched expose about the need to reduce carbon emissions drastically, and in short how it would be possible with as little discomfort to the wealthy as possible. It’s all very sensible and easy to read, but very depressing in terms of the political morass. I will blog about it when I’m finished and attempt to start an internet campaign, since acording to Time us bloggers have such potential influence.

    When GWB dies, we’re going to have to freeze his nasty little corpse otherwise the amount of methane released would kill us all!

  8. I`m going to have to agree with Bast. One spark near his corpse could very well ignite the atmosphere.

  9. Con-Tester: in fact, we could strap all the politicians together and launch them into space as a giant human shield

    TW: what exactly do you have against Papau New Guinea?

    Mr Angry: wasn’t there a highlander movie where they did something similar? Of course, it couldn’t have been an highlander movie, because it wasn’t the first one, and there was only ever one highlander movie made.

    BA: you may need to settle for mutated sea bass instead

  10. Andy: you’re absolutely right, what good did the moon do for us lately, anyway?

    dyst: i think you might be thinking of solar forges there… i think it’s the exact opposite effect

    Bast: apparently Al Gore presented a very sensible documentary about the whole thing. People are getting up in arms in the states because some teachers want to show the doccie in class and discuss it with the students – heaven forbid kids learn anything at school

    BA: i believe it’s because he’s hiding those weapons of mass destruction somewhere on his person.

  11. Con-Tester Says:

    Hmm, if we do as you suggest with our SA politicians, there’s a good chance that the sun will simply die of shame. Besides, have you ever tried strapping eels together?

  12. i visited papua new guinea once, and some cannibals ate me.

    i got better…

  13. Oh holy Thor…

    Well, our President does whatever his imaginary friend tells him to, our schools are trying to teach that the Flying Spaghetti Monster made us by magic out of nothing, and we can’t even promote stem cell research because JEEEZUS tells us not to.

    What do you expect from the good ‘ol US of A?

  14. Oh GOD. Hahahaha. I had nearly forgotten about the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    Final thought on this. Giant mirrors in space = dumb. Giant SOLAR PANELS…now thats an idea.

  15. Con-Tester: eels? you give them too much credit

    TW: that would explain a few things

    Rockstar: entertainment. Pure entertainment.

    BA: now you might actually be on to something there…

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