What I learned about the USA this time…

Every time I come to the good ol’ US of A, I learn a bit more about the place. Here’s the accumulated wisdom from this trip to Florida:

  • Even the most serious of actors is very silly when dubbed into Spanish.
  • Cars in Florida have three wiper settings: low, medium, and hurricane. The torque generated by the latter setting is potentially strong enough to warp the chassis of lesser vehicles.
  • There is absolutely no excuse to be fat in this country. Everything, and I mean everything, comes in a low fat, low sodium, sugar free, zero trans fat, zero cholesterol version. I would not be surprised to see low fat lard.
  • The letter ‘v’ is a significant obstacle to many hispanic imports.
  • Credits are squeezed into as small a space as possible to allow the next show to start immediately, but there’s always plenty of time for ad breaks.
  • My only experience of the weather this trip has been ‘airconditioned’. People rely on it way too much here.
  • Having a radio station that plays nothing but rock all day long is awesome, even if they do play Knocking on Heaven’s Door a little too often.
  • Geiko is so easy even a caveman can do it.
  • Grande Orange Mocha, iced, no fat, no whip
  • It’s entirely possible to sleep for up to four hours in Miami International in relative comfort, if you’re fairly ingenious and not too wide across the middle.

And that’s all i have to say about that.

14 Responses to “What I learned about the USA this time…”

  1. umm. geiko has nothing to do with japanese prostitution?
    *puzzled*

  2. residentRsole Says:

    totalwaste: I’m also confused. I think that geiko and geisha related terms as you imply.

  3. “Cars in Florida have three wiper settings: low, medium, and hurricane.” Great quote. Very funny. I laughed out loud. Keep up the great blogging.

  4. Chris Noble Says:

    Geiko is so easy even a caveman can do it.

    I was in the USA recently doing experiments and was exposed to some TV. I got the idea that Geiko was so easy a caveman could do it but what is Geiko?

    What’s the point of an advertising campaign if you still have no idea what the product is after watching the ad?

    PS. My experience of the weather was mostly synchrotron.

  5. either it is car insurance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVvBXBZEhkw, or a geisha from kyoto

  6. it’s car insurance, and it’s pronounced ‘guy-ko’. I think the very fact that it’s memetic without knowing what it is, is pretty much what i was going for with that point🙂

    Geisha, btw, were not prostitutes. You could tell who the prostitutes were because they tied their obis in the front, not the back… for obvious ease of access.

  7. residentRsole Says:

    moonflake: I believe that geishas are making a comeback in Japan.

    Talking about memes, there is a wonderful piece of writing that I picked up from one of Dawkins’ books:

    punch in the presence of the passenjare
    punch in the presence of the passenjare
    punch in the presence of the passenjare

  8. “yes, we have no bananas” sticks in my head for some reason.

  9. You can’t have too much guns and roses. And I don’t even like Guns and Roses.

  10. residentRsole Says:

    “yes, we have no bananas” sticks in my head for some reason.

    And now in mine too. Thanks a lot.
    🙂

  11. and i have a lovely bunch of coconuts

  12. There they are a-standin’ in a row.

  13. residentRsole Says:

    oh-eight-hundred, oh-three, oh-three, oh-three

    Remember that one ? I can’t forget it.

  14. vodkainsa Says:

    HAHA, those Geiko ads are classic… and on like every 3 and a half minutes:P

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