Archive for the Religion Category

Happy Equinox of your Choice

Posted in Religion on March 22, 2008 by moonflake

This year, Easter falls the second-closest to the equinox that it can, bringing its traditions in line with its origin as a celebration of the coming spring. It may be of some small interest to those of a religious persuasion that this festival was later co-opted by a young, upstart religion in its efforts to attract pagans who, very humanly, were more reluctant to part with their jovial festivities than they were their gods.

Those in the Northern Hemisphere who wish to ignore the religious hijacking of this holiday and instead celebrate the life-affirmation of the coming spring, with such symbols of fertility as hares and eggs, may easily do so. Not so easily the Southern Hemisphere, where I live. For us, March brings with it the promise of Autumn, and the coming cold. Easter seems an empty parroting of Northern customs… the chocolate egg is indeed hollow for us secular southerners.

One wonders… are there any redeeming qualities of this festival worthy of celebration for the antipodean atheist?

Church of Scientology responds to new Tom Cruise Biography

Posted in Religion on February 10, 2008 by moonflake

Well, Andrew Morton certainly has the church of scientology all aflutter. The church issued a 15-page statement to the Today Show, denying many allegations made in the book. It makes for entertaining reading.

How reliable is their rebuttal, you may ask?

Continue reading

Heath Ledger Dead; WBC to Picket Funeral

Posted in Religion, Stupidity on January 23, 2008 by moonflake

So, as I’m sure everyone who doesn’t have their head in a bucket knows by now, Heath Ledger is dead at 28. It’s tragic. I’ve been a big fan, although I’ll admit I far prefer his witty comedies, like 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight’s Tale, to his more weighty fare, like Monster’s Ball and Brokeback Mountain. Either way, he was an amazing actor, and I’m sure he was a wonderful person. He leaves behind a 2-year-old daughter who will never have a chance to know him properly. At this time, the autopsy is inconclusive and we will probably have to wait a couple of weeks for a cause of death.

What has surprised me until now is the speed at which the media has grasped its own member and wanked away like a horny teenager at this story. The details change from one moment to the next as they fumble clumsily about, desperate for climax: he was found naked in bed, he was found face down on top of a bottle of pills, pills were found nearby, it was accidental, he was found in Mary-Kate Olsen’s apartment, he was naked, he was clean from drugs for a year, he was in rehab, he was taking sleeping pills, he was naked, he was depressed, the housekeeper called Mary-Kate’s bodyguard for help, a rolled-up $20 bill was found by the body, he had pneumonia, it was suicide, Mary-Kate Olsen is not involved in any way, he was naked…

It’s horrible. But, as bad as it is, it cannot compare to this missive from our dear Westboro Baptist Church:

‘Brokeback Mountain’ star – Heath Ledger – is dead. WBC will picket his funeral.

“Though shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is an abomination.” Lev. 18:22. “For because of these things cometh the wrath of god upon the children of disobedience.” Eph. 5:6.

Yes. WBC will picket this pervert’s funeral, in religious protest and warning. “Be not deceived; God is not mocked.” Gal. 6:7. Heath Ledger thought it was great fun defying God Almighty and his plain word; to wit: God Hates Fags! & Fag Enablers! Ergo, God hates the sordid tacky, bucket of slime seasoned with vomit known as ‘Brokeback Mountain’ – and He hates all persons having anything whatsoever to do with it.

Heath Ledger is now in Hell, and has begun serving his eternal sentence there – beside which, nothing else about Heath Ledger is relevant or consequential.

If the mass media (and I’m counting you gossip bloggers in this) are the adolescent wankers in this story, then Fred Phelps is the cum crusting over on the balled-up tissue.

That’s all I have to say on the matter.

In the spirit of the season

Posted in Religion, Stupidity on December 27, 2007 by moonflake

Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic clergy took it upon themselves to demonstrate the spirit of Christmas today, by putting on a display of cross-faction tolerance and love for their fellow man. Other reports may say that they beat one another bloody with brooms and stones in a no-holds-barred fracas that ensued when a Greek Orthodox member stepped into the Armenian part of the church during the post-Christmas cleaning, but this would surely be an exaggeration.

The Church of the Nativity is considered to be one of the oldest continuously operated churches in the world. It is built over a grotto said to be the birthplace of Christ (which is contradictory because Matthew 2:11 has him in a house) and is managed jointly by the Roman Catholic Church, the Greek Orthodox Church, and the Armenian Apostolic Church. They each have their separate sections of the building, and apparently woe betide he who should trespass on the ground of his fellow christian, for he will be smote about the earhole with cleaning equipment.

Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, don’t it?

Gareth Cliff faces BCC tribunal for blasphemy

Posted in Religion, South Africa on December 6, 2007 by moonflake

Gareth Cliff recently reported on the “Teddy Teacher” Gillian Gibbons, who was sentenced to 15 days in jail in Sudan, for the crime of allowing her class to name a teddy bear ‘Mohamed’. The case in itself raises a few questions, or at least eyebrows. Given that the children chose the name democratically, that the parents raised no issue with the name, that the entire school was aware of the name, and that the incident itself happened months ago, one may wonder what this single woman did to deserve this punishment when her entire class of six- and seven-year-olds, their parents, and the rest of the school staff, should have been in jail with her. Also, one may wonder why it is so terrible to name a bear Mohamed, but fine to name a child Mohamed? But I digress…

The point of this post is that 5fm DJ Gareth Cliff dared to say on his show that if a God is offended by the use of his name by a mere mortal, offended enough to make it a commandment, then that God is petty (can i get a gasp?). Personally, I find Cliff’s logic infallible. I would add that if a God is so injured by the taking in vain of his name that he has to ban people from doing so at peril of their eternal peace, then that God must truly be a weak, snivelling thing to boot. I would like to thank Gareth Cliff for his excellent insight.

But not so, 5fm listeners. No indeed, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and one listener wrote in to Cliff personally about his blasphemous ways, and then was shocked and apalled when he did her the courtesy of reminding her that there is no God, no Tooth Fairy, and no Santa Claus either. Given the number of exclamation marks in her original email, and her inability to spell the word ‘you’, I could have guessed that her reaction to that factual dissemination would not be good, and indeed it was not. Cliff is now facing a tribunal of the broadcasting complaints commission over the whole incident.

What amazes me is that people genuinely believe that the commission is meant to step in to shield them from insults against their imaginary friend, just because he’s popular. People honestly believe that religion, for some reason, deserves more respect than any other position a person may hold. You can insult people’s politics, their taste in movies and their choice of music, but woe betide anyone who dares to insult their made up stories about how the world works! No, indeed, as soon as someone starts going on about religion, we have to shut our mouths and nod respectfully. May I add that the next time someone expects this, you give them the respect they truly deserve: fix a smile on your face, hold your hands up to show they are empty, nod vigorously, and slowly start backing away until you are about 4 metres away from them, then break into a flat sprint in the opposite direction.

Because if the religious deserve any kind of respect, it’s the same respect you would give to the clinically insane.

The Nine Most Badass Verses in the Bible

Posted in Humour, Religion on November 30, 2007 by moonflake

Must read from Cracked.com. I haven’t laughed this hard in while.

New Zealand girl killed in exorcism, cousin nearly blinded

Posted in Religion, Stupidity on November 26, 2007 by moonflake

In yet another fatal display of why people shouldn’t be left to believe whatever the hell they feel like, a botched (or possibly successful, it’s hard to tell) Maori exorcism has left one teenage girl drowned and another barely retaining her eyesight after her family tried to gouge out her eyes.

The thing about this that bothers me the most is that after the first girl died, they continued working on the second girl, while 40 of her family members stood around watching and presumably did nothing to call the deadly farce to a halt! Surely, even if you genuinely believe you’re helping someone by submitting them to eye-gouging and forcing water down their throats while you hold them down and they stuggle and gasp for air and cry for mercy… surely at the point where the first one dies, you stop and wonder if maybe you’re doing something wrong? Isn’t there a tiny part of your brain that says ‘hang on here, this can’t be right’?

Well, apparently not. It seems that bit gets cauterized early on in the belief process, or I guess you wouldn’t believe in exorcism and curses in the first place. And I can only suppose from the evidence that the remaining hole in your brain gets filled up with stupid.