Archive for the Useful Sites Category

Leviticus: god’s Bumper Book of Jokes

Posted in Religion, Useful Sites on August 10, 2005 by moonflake

This is hilarious. I have to share it.

We all know that Leviticus is the chapter in the bible used to justify gay-hating by the church. Here’s a few other things that Leviticus also says good christians should do, courtesy of Peter Bowditch:

“As examples, in Leviticus 20:13, God gets a bit more specific about what should happen to homosexuals when He says: “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them”; in 20:9 there is an instruction that children who curse their parents must be killed (in Deuteronomy 21:18-21, God goes a bit further and orders the death penalty for children who are just disobedient); in 11:6 we are told not to eat hares because they “cheweth the cud” (??); in 11:10 we are prohibited from eating oysters, prawns, lobsters and calamari; in 11:19 we are told not to eat bats (because they are birds!); in 15:19 we are instructed to quarantine menstruating women; in 19:19 we are told not to wear polyester and cotton blend shirts; in 19:27 men are instructed not to trim their beards; in 19:28 tattoos are prohibited; in 24:16 there are explicit instructions to kill blasphemers (including the method of killing); in 25:45-46 we can find the instructions on how to get and keep slaves; and let’s not forget that women are only worth half as much as men (27:3-7). If you don’t obey all these laws to the letter God will have some of your children eaten by your enemies (26:16), some eaten by wild animals (26:22), and you will have to eat the rest yourself (26:29). It’s just as well that God only meant the parts about homosexuals being bad and was joking about the rest, isn’t it?”

Leviticus is also the source of the Jehova’s Witnesses’ belief that you should not accept blood transfusions because it is an abomination to eat blood (17:10-14). Yes, somehow they make the leap that eating blood=blood transfusions (because of course that’s what god must have meant all along). Genius.

Oh, and let’s not forget that you can’t eat four-legged insects (11:22-23). If you can find them, you can’t eat them. Good luck.

For more insanity, check out the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible.

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end of the month salticracks

Posted in Useful Sites on July 27, 2005 by moonflake

wow, took my car in to the mechanic on monday and had to have the waterpump replaced. R510.15 later, right at the end of the month. Ouch. And then they tell me, oh, while we’re there your cam belt is worn so we should really replace that too, that will be an extra R105. And i’m like ‘no thank you, just fix the leak, i can’t afford it this month. Maybe next month.’

I think this must have been a shock to them, because they couldn’t stop going on about it. Trying to explain to me that i would be saving on labour costs etc etc. But seriously, I can’t make money appear from thin air. If i could, would i still be driving the same piece-of-shit-car? Is this a difficult concept to understand?

Here’s a great site that summarizes all the possible ways the world could end. Interesting read, pretty pictures 🙂

Arg, writing documentation for american clients has fucked up my spelling. I’m spelling in american now. This sucks. I’m putting z’s in places they shouldn’t be and dropping u’s. Blegh.

Interesting evening last night: we were meant to be roleplaying but Schpat found out that dragonfire is next weekend, and we hadn’t done the ThurTeem shirts yet. And he wondered why i was in a rush to get him the image! So we’re in cAnal Walk in Edgars, buying plain black shirts to print on, and who do we run into but Stu. Yes, it was an official sighting, he is still alive. He might be coming to dragonfire, but will not be playing.

In enormously good news, Shelagh may very well be coming down for dragonfire!!! Yay! I am missing shelagh plenty much. I was looking at old pics of the 2003 afterparty and thinking, ‘Man, I’m going to miss shelagh at this dragonfire.’ So excited that she might come down.

Anyway, back to work. The client from hell is bugging me with stupid ‘bugs’. ‘Why isn’t this webpage updating? I log in and then i get Page Not Found.’ Turns out she’s not connected to the network and is surfing her cache. Of course it’s not updating.

This reminds me of her other brilliant bug ‘When i try to log in i get the error Invalid Username or Bad Password.’ Um…yeah. So either your username is wrong (impossible, it’s selected from a dropdown) or you’ve spelt your password wrong. Jeez.